Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
