pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
