yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
