Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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