i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
