I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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