you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
