Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
