I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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