I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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