somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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