I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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