And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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