the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
