maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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