You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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