I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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