I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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