I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you win again, gameday.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
