Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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