so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
