when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
