You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
