Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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