I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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