just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
