But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize