Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
