pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Are we still banned from the library?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
