Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
