So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
