It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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