At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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