He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
