Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you would pick up someone in the library
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
