My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
