Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
