Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
