once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My bed smells like the plague
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
