My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
