rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i need some magic done to my vagina
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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