I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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