I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
