i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
