You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
