She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize