Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
