I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
