I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
