Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize