I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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