2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
