so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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