Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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