Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
