so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
