What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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