Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize