Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
