Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
