Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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