Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
