You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She's JV to your varsity
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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