I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
